Monday, April 27, 2009

The Official Signs Of Spring



Well the past few days have been beautiful. All the signs of spring abound; the right amount of warm, wrapped in soft breezes, and lovely sunshine.

In addition to all the obvious signs of spring like April showers, and May flowers, I’d like to add a few of my own.

Epinephrine: Yes bees are a sign of spring, but for me it is the addition of the epi-pen to my purse, glove box, and medicine cabinet that heralds the beginning of spring.

Runny Noses: Packs of to-go tissues abound for all the drippy sniffers in my house. This of course leads to the blooming of used tissues everywhere I look. Not only do we have allergies, but it would appear that my children have an aversion to that loooong walk to the garbage can.

Political Signs: It's spring here and the politcal signs are blooming. These things really get my allergies going. They are at full peak, and will mostly all wilt out after the May primaries wrap up, only to re-bloom again in time for the fall allergy season.

Pot Holes: I live in SWPA, they come with the territory, and they will swallow your car whole.

Road Crew Workers: Hey someone has to go out and lean on a sign that reads “Road Work Ahead”, and make it look like someone is fixing all those potholes. Not to mention trying to rock those bright orange road worker vests.

Man Boobs: Yes YOU have them, so hey guys do us all a favor, and put a shirt over those things. We don’t want to see them when you’re running, mowing the lawn, or any other time you feel the need to expose them to the world. If you can’t find a shirt, check with the road care boys….maybe they’ll lend you one of those fabulous orange vests.

The Bank Of Poo: It’s true, our yard has become a poo banking institution for dogs. The snow has melted, and we can now see every blooming pile of poo that a million other dogs from the neighborhood have deposited. These are in addition to the ones from our own dog. These do not accrue interest, and child labor is used to make withdrawals from the yard.

Waste Permit: With the nice weather comes dirt, and lots of it! It usually gains access to the house on the body, clothes, and shoes of one small boy. It is accompanied by bugs, worms, rocks, bits of yard, and on occasion tracked in bank deposits. It is booted from the premises through the bathtub, and washing machine drainage systems. The DEP has called and our bathtub waste permit should be arriving any day now.

Outdoor Potty: The six year old announced that it is now warm enough for him to pee outside, and then promptly tested the theory. Between him and the dog I shouldn't have to worry about watering the lawn all summer.


Well I’d love to stay, and post a few more, but I have to go clean a deposit off the carpet.

Spring has officially arrived in my neck of the woods.



Blessings!
Dana

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